How Do You Make Your Kids Mind?
19Sep2007 Filed under: contests Author: slackermommyI’ve been writing a lot lately about my discipline woes and my good intentions to debrat my kids. You have all been very supportive and some of you have left me comments about what discipline tactics work for your family. I really appreciate it since I need all the help I can get.
I’ve decided to hold a contest in honor of my quest to improve my discipline methods. I’d love to know more about your tried and true discipline tactics. Although I’m a parenting book addict I prefer to borrow tactics from friends and family that seem to work for them. These are the ones that are the most successful for me. I’m guessing because I’m more willing to make it work since I’ve seen it work for a friend. I recently shared my tip for turning a tantrum off instantly by pulling out a camera or camcorder on the offending child. Works every time in my house. Some days I wear my camera around my neck as a friendly reminder to my brats kids that tantrums will be recorded.
Another tactic that has been effective for a good friend of mine is to make your kids write a letter about their behavior. Her son kept forgetting his notebook at school so she would have him write 25 times on paper that he will not forget his notebook. On the third day he came home from school and immediately asked for a piece of paper because he once again forgot his notebook. He hasn’t forgotten again since that day. I am so stealing this one.
The contest will run through the weekend. All you have to do is either leave your tried and true discipline tactic in my comments or write about it on your blog. I’ll randomly choose a winner at midnight on Sunday, September 23. The winner will have their choice of one of these adorable tooth fairy pillows kindly donated from Avannabel Baby. They retail for $58 so even if you don’t need a frou frou tooth fairy pillow it would make a great gift for some girly girl.
Feel free to be funny such as locking your kids up in the dog’s crate. We all need a little humor to get through the day.
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23 Responses to “How Do You Make Your Kids Mind?”
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About this blog
I am a self professed slacker mom. I answer to Kristie or slackermommy.
My house is a mess, my kids are obnoxious, and my husband is sexually deprived.
I drive my kids to school in my pj's, I can make a couple of Happy Meals from the floor of my car, my kids eat in front of the television, and I believe a dirty house helps kids have a healthy immune system.
If you can relate then this blog is for you. No sugar coating on my blog. Let's get real about being a mommy, wife, sister, and friend.
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Worker Mommy
September 19th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Oh if only I did have a tried and true discipline tactic. Mainly I’m looking forward to hearing/reading what works for everyone else.
Lawyer Mama
September 19th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Damn. My kids are too young for me to have any tried and true discipline techniques.
Mamma
September 19th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
I’m so checking back. I love the camera idea.
I have a hard time sticking to a plan. That’s my issue.
KC
September 19th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
I have NO idea what I’m doing in the discipline arena. But, would love to get some tips from pro’s.
For the Love...
September 20th, 2007 at 7:18 am
At home I pretty much shake it up. I take things away (phone, TV, computer, playstation and GameBoy) and if they end up in their rooms I have them write a one page paper one what they did, why it was wrong, and how they plan to change it. They hate that but it is an exellent way for them to review the situation and possibly come up with better ways to handle it in the future.
If their behavior improves I will sometimes let them earn their privledges back a little early by doing extra chores. No easy chores but the worst ones–raking, cleaning the carport, etc…This helps them see the “light at the end of the tunnel” a little better and my yard looks great.
They have been wonderful in public ever since I started singing my LOUD “Mom Arias.” They would rather die than have me belting out a song in the middle of the tampon isle.
I have 3 great kids. They are all different so what works for one might not work for the others..except the Mom Aria-it is a winner across the board.
Super B's Mom
September 20th, 2007 at 11:58 am
Oh how I wish I had some advice. With Super B at age 4, I’m just trying to keep my head above water.
You name it, I’ve tried it. Once I tried to convince Super B that “Jesus said it’s time for bed.” Without missing a beat he informed me that Moses said he could “stay up late.”
So as you imagine, the kid’s got my number right now. Can’t wait to hear advice!!
Ms.L
September 20th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Consistancy makes my kids mind MOST of the time. I set out rules and make sure they have a clear understaanding of the them as well as the consequences and them force myself to follow through EVERY time.
Sometimes though…honestly? I have a fit and send them to their rooms so I can have a break,heh.
maggie
September 20th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
At my house it really depended on the kid. My daughter was a rather easy kid to disciple. She’s twelve now but when she needed time outs she would go to her room. Only once did it progress to her door getting taken off the hinges (for slamming it). She lost her door for about a month. She never to this day did it again.
With my son the taking away things has worked the best. Recently, I took away friends over for one week. He wasn’t necessarly going to have a friend over but the fact that he knew he couldn’t made him think the following week.
I use to babysit when I was home with my son when he was younger. I had one little boy who was Terrible. He misbehaved all day every day. I tryed everything with this kid. One of the punishments when we got into the car would be he had to put his hands under his legs. If he was misbehaving by hitting or taking away toys. Standing in the corner never worked with him. He’d stand there all day then get out and do the same exact thing he got in trouble for. But I found that he didn’t like sitting on the stairs. So his punishment would to sit on the top stair where there was nothing interesting to look at or people to hear. I tried to make his punishment fit the crime. If he stole something then every time we left somewhere for x amount of days I would check his pockets before leaving (besides his stealing punishment). That would embarrass him. Not sure if it worked but I don’t think he enjoyed being the only one getting check over.
Jenster
September 20th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
I LOVE the picture!!!
Wish I had a good tip for you. My kids are pretty good now so I must have done something fairly well. Just don’t remember what I did. Or it would probably be more accurate to say whatever I did wasn’t too horrible. Then again, we still have a few more years to go so I’d better just stop here. :o)
And you are a great mom!! Don’t let anyone tell you different. Especially your kids! lol
Scrapping My 2 Precious Gems
September 21st, 2007 at 4:58 am
Wow, I have to join in this contest because my daughter would just totally LOVE this extra girly girl fru fru pillow! LOL
My tried and true tip:
My children are video game and TV junkies! If you can see my son when we tell them there is no tv or games, you would think we had beat him senselessly with a stick! So what we do is limit both. During the week they are not allowed to watch or play unless we are watching something as a family. So they look forward to Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
I have started implimenting taking away one or both of these things when the behavior is not acceptable. For my daughter, all she needs is the warning. My son however, my difficult one, sometimes forgets we mean business and gets a day taken away from him.
He had one week where he lost the whole weekends privileges. Don’t think that will be happening again, because the boy was stircrazy and said he would behave at all times!
Like I said….they are junkies! LOL
Rae
September 21st, 2007 at 10:46 am
Love you site. Let’s see what I can add. First Super B’s Mom son is a funny kids and I love the “Mom Arias” idea. Gonna try that.
My kids believe I am a horrible mean mom. And i have every intention of keeping it that way! My kids have chores every day after school and extra on the weekends. Both of the older kids, 8 &6, HATE laundry duty. So everytime there is a temper tantrum or complaining I add a loaded to their work. Right now they switch off and take turns. BUt if they complain or through fits I make them take the next turn and then the next turn…it depends how long they keep going. My daughter stops after the first add-on Son keeps going for about 4 rounds before he decides he has had enough.
Be Inspired Always
September 21st, 2007 at 2:43 pm
My tried and true tip..
My two boys have to earn time tickets, which means they do chores around the house to get extra help/time for there homework. If they don’t do the chores then they are doing their homework on their own. It teaches them to be a team-player in our house, plus a little responsibility.
I also use that time ticket thing for things they want to do, if they earn 50 tickets in a month, then they pick something special.
My oldest son picked having a Birthday Party with 20 of his friends. Wooohoo!
it seems to be working….
Jillian
melody is slurping life
September 21st, 2007 at 4:15 pm
As a mom of 4 boys (3 still at home 9,10,12) I’ve done everything for discipline…forgot a lot of it because, well, because.
Currently my younger 3 boys argue and fight over everything…who’s first on the Nintendo…fine, they all lose Nintendo. Who gets the last cookie…fine, I eat it. Who was in possession of a certain toy last…fine, the toy goes. See a pattern? The first time I trashed a toy, I got their attention. The first time I ate the last of something, from their wails you would have thought they hadn’t been fed in weeks. Plus it makes them so mad at me, they forget to fight with one another.
There’s more, but space is limited.
And I’d gift someone with the pillow…my boys have knocked out all their baby teeth.
Love your blog.
Carla
September 21st, 2007 at 4:52 pm
I use the Accountable Kids program. They turn the cards for chores and earn tv time and computer time. Also use Best Behavior Cards. If they show love, kindness, compassion etc.(fruits of the spirit)they earn a BB card. When they earn 10 it’s a date with Mom or Dad. Alone.
I have used charts, stickers, money, poker chips, treasure chest, tickets….the older ones have outgrown that.
Momish
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:50 am
Ok, so my kid is only two - not a wealth of information in that. But, I posted about self discipline when it comes to money and saving and budgeting. It is something I am definitely planning on doing with Piper, and figured it would be good for your kids considering their ages. Hope it helps!
It doesn’t quite fit the rules of the game, but is helpful in curbing the brattiness when it comes to demanding stuff and material possessions like you talked about. A major issue for most parents indeed!
I am really enjoying other people’s advice and hope they keep pouring in!!
A Buns' life
September 22nd, 2007 at 8:22 am
This works for my son: (I’m yet to figure out what my daughter’s currency is) He is a computer/tv junkie so we have a magnet board and he has to earn magnets in order to play video games/computer/movies etc.
He gets a magnet for doing his chores, or helping sissy with something, being especially nice and sharing/cooperative. He has to get 5 in order to cash them in for play time. When he gets in trouble at school, or has to go to time out, he will have to take a magnet down as well. We have been doing this for over a year and it has worked well. I’m looking into upping the system to be a bit more structured and less objective, just because he is getting older. I also think my daughter will benefit from something more structured.
carrie
September 22nd, 2007 at 4:10 pm
OMG, that is the 2nd picture of kids in cages that I’ve seen today! Clearly I am missing out on some sort of trend.
Do tried and true discipline tactics to share as we are definitely in a slump these days. All I can say is be consistent, and repetition, repetition, repetition. It’s exhausting just typing those words.
Rindy
September 23rd, 2007 at 11:32 am
Have a plan ahead of time that you can follow through. Talk to them about it ahead of time…”if you____, then ______”. Stay calm and just keep repeating it. Example: “when you talk that way to me, I will not give you attention”, “if you hit your brother, you will not play video games”, etc
Big thing—catch them doing good!!! Reward/give attention to it!! As they get older, take them aside and point out that you noticed the good choice they made.
It’s not easy, but consistency and preparation is the key–no matter how old. Talk to them and teach them to make the good choices now–saves a lot of headache when they become teens!!
Mommapeas
September 25th, 2007 at 7:09 am
Ok, here goes. I’m a Mom to an one toddler. She is independent, fierce and has a one-track mind. I found myself butting my head using any and all discipline tactics (either from others or books). I realized that something just didn’t “feel” right.
So, we went back to square one. We started spending more time at home and I have been trying to reconnect with her. Now I know this sounds a little mushy gushy for some, but it is really making a difference. We’ve gone from 8 or 9 tantrums a day to 2. I’m loving getting to know her again b/c we’re no longer locking horns like we once did.
I know that this probably only applies to us and our current age, but it works for us! Good luck on your quest, sounds like you’re heading in the right direction!
Terri@SteelMagnolia
September 29th, 2007 at 11:37 pm
ahh haaahaaa..
that is cute…
oh my…
i’m going thru the terrible two’s right now…
i’m wanting to rip my hairs out..
and EAT CHOCOLATE!!
carlie
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:36 pm
My kids hit slap,kick,punch,SCREAMterrible.
so i hope your ok!!
SEE YOU LATER!
LOL
Kristy
July 17th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
I have a 3 and 4 year old that are out of control. It is to the point where I cant handle them. I feel like i am loosing my mind. I have tried everything that I have been told and think of to make them mind me. I always said that I would never use a belt on my kids but I have even tried that. Just to find out that it doesn’t change anything with them. I am open for an suggestions and will try anything that may work.
cjandaustin@aol.com
Debbie
July 25th, 2008 at 10:56 am
I have a 5 year old that is disrespectful to me, won’t mind, talks back, throws fits. I feel like I’m a terrible mother sometimes, because I feel like all I do is yell and tell him no. What’s worse if I spank him it doesn’t even phase him. I’m divorced and my ex-husband always tells me he never has any problems with him and that drives me crazy. I like to know any suggestion on how to control my child and hopefully have better relationship with him before its too late.