I’m so sad. Sonny, our beloved dog has a nasal tumor. He presented with a cough in March that did not respond to two rounds of antibiotics. Then around the end of May he started bleeding from the nose. He was put back on antibiotics and the bleeding stopped for about a week. We checked his blood counts, clotting factors, tick titres, and chest x-rays. Everything came back normal for an old dog. Skull x-rays showed a mass of some sort in the left side. I prayed that the mass was a fungus or infection but and MRI and rhinoscopy performed yesterday showed a tumor. I won’t know until Monday when the biopsy comes back what kind of carcinoma we are dealing with. The tumor is very aggressive and quite large. Radiation may be an option. I was all for the radiation until I found out that the closest hospital that offers animal radiation is two hours away. That would mean we would have to leave Sonny at that hospital for at least four weeks. We could bring him home on weekends but with four kids and our hectic schedule it would be difficult to do it every weekend. Not to mention Sonny would be miserable. He has a hard time being away from us. When I left him yesterday for his procedure he cried and sat on my feet and would not budge. We had to trick him in order for me to leave. It broke my heart and I cried all the way home.
I am so terribly grief stricken. I don’t do death well. Isn’t that a dumb thing to write? Who does do death well? What I mean is I’m such a crybaby. I cry at Hallmark commercials for crying out loud! Pun intended. When I worked in the ICU I was the nurse who did the ugly cry with families when a loved one passed away. My poor kids don’t know what to think of me. They know I cry easy but they’ve never seen me this upset. They are trying to make sense of what is happening to Sonny. I’ve got the book Dog Heaven for them but I’m going to wait until I can read it without crying. Isn’t amazing how our pets steal our hearts?
Sonny was our first baby. We got him a couple months before we were married. The house we live in is the house he was born in. The previous owners bred Golden Retrievers. We came to see Sonny and saw that the house was for sale. We bought both of them. I can’t imagine not having him here anymore. In fact my hubby wants to move once he passes.
Me and hubby had a long talk tonight about what we should do for Sonny and have decided to forgo the radiation. If we asked Sonny what he wanted his answer would be no. He would hate to be away from us for so long and I shudder at the thought of him being afraid and alone. He’s old. If he was younger and the hospital was down the street we would do it without question. So our decision is to give him the best of what time he has left. He has been such a blessing to our family. The most loving, loyal and sweet natured dog that I have ever met. He’s so happy to just be. To be sitting next to me. To be petted. To be fed treats. He has been so good with the kids. In fact I think he thinks he’s a kid. He goes crazy at the window if the kids are outside without him. If he was in the car when I dropped the kids off at school he would cry when they got out of the car. He has endured the kids sitting on him, poking him, and dressing him up. I’m going to miss how he sits by the window waiting for us to come home. I’m going to miss how Marigrace sits next to him and shares her snacks. I’m going to miss how he follows me from room to room. Even if he’s fast asleep he will get up and come find me. I’m going to miss seeing his sweet face every day. I’m going to miss him.
With what time he has left we are going to let him swim in the pool and sit on the furniture. He is going to eat like a king and have all the leftovers he wants. I promise to love on him several times a day and not take him for granted. He has been such a gift to us. He deserves his last couple of months with us to be the best they can be.
God, am I going to miss him. Damn it.
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JaniceNW
July 13th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
I don’t know anyone who does death well. Some of us have just have more experience. I’m so sorry about your dog. They are family members and it’s ok to grieve. I don’t cry quite so easily but when I do, the 3 “men” pretend they don’t see. Gotta love the testosterone thing.
Hugs.
Momish
July 14th, 2007 at 5:36 am
I am crying as if I just watched a Hallmark commercial. This is sucha lovely tribute to you beloved four legged kid. I know how hard it is and I feel your grief. But, you are doing the right thing. It would be terrible to put him through the torture of radiation and being apart from you.
I did the same thing with my cat Thai. I kept him close to me until the very end, sleeping on the couch at night because he couldn’t make it up the stairs to our bed. I am so glad I did. In my heart, I know he appreciated sharing those last days with me to the fullest rather than suffering for nothing alone.
My heart goes out to you and your family. Cry away.
teebopop
July 14th, 2007 at 6:37 am
Call me a blubbering idiot. I cry at the same Hallmark commercials you do. So, when it’s something serious, I’m a blithering, blubbering idiot.
I think you are making the right decision. If Sonny is old, he probably won’t do well with the radiation and being separated from the family on top of it. He could go into ‘doggie depression’ and that won’t help him get through the radiation anyways.
But let me insert my two cents here (most days it’s only worth a penny): Don’t let Sonny hang on to the very end. It will be more traumatic for him AND you guys. He won’t be able to tell you he’s getting worse or that he’s in so much more pain. He won’t be able to tell you if and when it spreads. And you certainly won’t want the memory of (please forgive this harshness) his last gasp and his howling from discomfort.
Ask the vet how long Sonny will survive without suffering. About a month before ‘his time,’ have him put down. You’ll be able to prepare everyone in the family and it won’t be a shock when it happens.
I know that when our dog Oreo was riddled with tumors we made the decision to put him down long before he got to the point where he couldn’t eat, drink water, or even get up out of his bed. The girls went with to the Vet’s office and we all said our goodbyes and hugged him ever so gently. My husband held onto him as he slipped away.
Sure, we all were deeply saddened, but the girls handled his passing 100 times better than when our cat died unexpectantly.
It’s just a thought.
Go ahead and cry. It’s okay. Just because he’s a dog doesn’t mean he’s not family.
sam
July 14th, 2007 at 8:59 am
OMG. OMG. I am so heartbroken for you and your family. I am so very sorry.
Sonny is so lucky to have a loving and grateful family like you!
My heart goes out to you all!
Jenny
July 14th, 2007 at 11:35 am
Oh Kristie. I am just so sorry. I’ll be thinking of you and yours.
shauna
July 14th, 2007 at 11:48 am
I’m so sorry. Your plan sounds like the best way to celebrate a life well lived. I hope Sonny’s last days are filled with doggy joy! And hang in there.
Erica B.
July 14th, 2007 at 11:52 am
So sorry to hear about your precious pup. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Just a grail
July 14th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Family is family four legged or not, we love them and it is so hard to have them go. I am so sorry.
Pokey Puppy
July 14th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Oh… I’m so sorry to hear about Sonny… At least he has been loved more than most can say they were!
Jo
July 14th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Aw hun I’m sorry.
You can tell how well loved he is just by this post and he’s a very lucky dog to have spent his life with you and your family.
I think it is very sweet and wonderful that you have decided to pamper him during what time he has left. Personally, I couldn’t imagine a nicer tribute and thank you to him.
Big hugz
carrie
July 14th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
I think you know what’s best for Sonny, and I have all the faith in the world that you will spoil him rotten until you no longer can.
Thinking good thoughts for all of you - ezpecially that pooch, Sonny!
Carrie
Lisa
July 14th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Oh Kristie,
I Am SO VERY SORRY. I have been wondering about him. (And now I’m crying with you.)
He’s lucky he’s been so loved during his life. I’m pretty sure he’d tell you that if he could talk. He is a sweetheart. And he’s a big part of you and your family’s life.
So very sorry.
Annie
July 14th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
I’m so sorry. We are a petless household here, but I have seen how pets are a very integral family member at our friends’ houses. Good luck.
Jenster
July 14th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
I’m so sorry. No need to explain crying over this. This is big stuff. Our first “baby” was a Golden Retriever, too. She passed away about three years ago and it was very hard on me. So I completely understand.
Burg
July 14th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
This may sound silly, but I wish I had known in advance my dog Jake was going to die so that I could have done the same thing. Jake saved my backside once when I was nearly attacked by another dog. He died unexpectedly and unceremoniously. Fifteen years later, I still have a hard time with it and still miss him.
My heart goes out to you..
Mad goat lady
July 15th, 2007 at 12:09 am
I am so sorry to hear about Sonny.
We recently lost our goat Spirit to a similar thing, firstly she had the tumour behind her eye. The vet operated and removed her eye along with the growth and my little Spirit recovered so well. After a week or so you couldn’t even tell that she only had one eye.
A few months later, she started to have a nasty discharge from her nose and just didnt seem herself. The vet told us that another tumour had formed in her nasal canal and that there really wasn’t alot we could about it.
I decided then and there to put my Spirit to sleep..I didn’t want her to suffer..she had fought a good fight but now was her time to rest.
It was one of the hardest things I have ever done…I had had her since she was an hour old and rejected by her mother..I fed her with a bottle and she followed me around thinking that i *was* her mother.
I send you all love and strength to face this terrible time ahead of you and wish dear little Sonny a smooth and painless passing.
darlene
July 15th, 2007 at 1:07 am
my heart goes out to you, as we give so much to the ones we love(our pets )
i am so sorry!, but you gave him a great life! always remember that
BarnGoddess
July 15th, 2007 at 7:11 am
I dont know anyone who does death well either.
Ive never been a crier, guess I get that from my dad.
Aww, I smiled when you said you did the ‘ugly cry’ when you worked as a nurse. My sis is an MD, she is 52 yo and still DOES the ‘ugly cry’ on occassion…hard to believe isnt it?
((hugs)) nothing easy about losing a member of the family.
We lost our ‘Elvis’ last winter, I miss him horribly.
Zookeeper
July 15th, 2007 at 8:38 am
I know how you feel. We lost the best dog in the world two years ago. You never forget dogs like your Sonny and our Kenobi. I tear up whenever I think of her. When she was really sick I would say good bye to her every night in case she wasn’t with us when I woke up. That lasted almost a week. It was heart wrenching. I am truly sorry for what you are going through right now.
Jennifer aka Binky Bitch
July 15th, 2007 at 11:21 am
I’m so sorry to hear about your doggy.
Of course, you’re crying. Dogs are a part of my family, too.
Hugs to you. And Sonny.
Terri@SteelMagnolia
July 15th, 2007 at 11:39 am
I am just crying..
I feel your pain… I am so sorry..
My heart aches for you…
our animals are our babies…
we love them as if they were our own flesh and blood (well this family anyway)
I am saying a prayer for your doggie and you now.
summershine
July 15th, 2007 at 5:35 pm
I’m so sorry.
My dog was 14 years old when she died. She had devloped an aggressive tumor.
She was just like you describe Sonny, so very sweet.
I still miss her.
We made the decision to have her put to sleep before her condition became agonizing to her.
You’ll be okay with some time.
Hugs.
crazymumma
July 15th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
That is totally lousy.
Feed him from the table three times a day, love him…give him what he wants anything. Then you will have a certain peace with the knowledge of his passing.
so sorry.
Daddy Forever
July 15th, 2007 at 11:12 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about Sonny. Sonny sounds like a great dog who loved your family. make the most of your time together. Wishing you and Sonny the best.
Mommy off the Record
July 15th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
I am so sorry. This is just awful.
Gramps
July 16th, 2007 at 6:24 am
It’s a different kind of greiving, I think, for a pet than a human. Pet’s offer a different kind of presence, companionship. Love. I’m so sorry about Sonny. As hard as it is, it really sounds like you made the right decision. Having him away from his family for four weeks, does not make much sense. If he were younger maybe. But, you’re doing the right thing. He’s a very lucky dog to have found you and been loved so by your family.
Super B's Mom
July 16th, 2007 at 7:22 am
I’m so sad to hear the news about Sonny. You both are so lucky to have had each other. You have given him a great life and that’s something you can always take pride in.
I’m so sorry.
Maggie
July 16th, 2007 at 7:51 am
I am so very sorry about your doggy.
I know how a pet can be like part of the family. Our cocker spaniel is 11 years old and has cushing’s disease. We are facing putting him down real soon too. It breaks my heart even though I know it’s best for him.
Very sorry but I really like your plan. Swimming in the pool and sitting on the couch. Sweet
Cyndi
July 16th, 2007 at 8:16 am
So sorry to read your doggie news.
Jenn
July 16th, 2007 at 9:26 am
I am SO sorry. It’s hard because they do become such a part of our lives. I’ve lost many pets, some of them to natural causes, others not so natural, and each and every death ripped my heart out.
I think you have made the right decision regarding the radiation. It is so hard on them, especially the older guys, and it makes them feel like crap. And the prognosis of a cure is so uncertain.
Our old black lab has lung cancer (a big tumor fills about half of one lung) and we also opted against radiation/chemotherapy because I know how very shitty it makes them feel. He feels fine now, has good days and bad days, but I know the bad days would FAR outweigh the good days if he was on chemo.
The best we can do, the only thing we can do, is make sure he is happy and comfortable and spoiled rotten.
JayJenny
July 16th, 2007 at 9:52 am
I’m so sorry. I know how much this hurts. Last August we had to put our family dog to sleep. She’d had cancer for years but the last few days of her life were very difficult. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. With the year anniversary coming up, it hasn’t gotten any easier I’m afraid. I think of Lacie so much, and I hope I always will. Dogs are the most wonderful gifts from God. I sound very much like you, grieving-wise. I think your decision is the best. I can’t imagine letting Lacie go out of this world on her own. We surrounded her until her last breath. And I know that our dogs are so much more than that - they truly are part of the family and it’s going to hurt no matter what. Try to enjoy his last days/weeks, you’ll be glad for those moments. I’m thinking of you and your fmaily, and wiping away my own tears. I know there isn’t anything comforting I can say other than I’ve been there, not so long ago. {{HUGS & PRAYERS}}
QT
July 16th, 2007 at 10:41 am
Hugs to you - I second whoever said consider letting him go gracefully if it gets too hard for him. We had to do that for our Rottie five years ago. She stopped eating, her kidneys started to fail so she was peeing all over the house (she would get this look on her face - we never scolded her, but she just was so conditioned about going outside), but most importantly, she just was miserable. Her quality of life was so diminished.
It hurts me to think of her to this day, but I am glad my face was the last one she saw, my arms holding her as she passed on.
Your Sonny sounds like such a wonderful companion who has had a great life with you. I will be thinking of you.
Terri@SteelMagnolia
July 16th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Just came by to check on you…
I hope you’re doing okay.
Reba
July 16th, 2007 at 11:15 am
I am so sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Queen of the Mayhem
July 16th, 2007 at 11:55 am
I do the ugly cry WAY too often! My every emotion is represented by tears. MAN! I hate being a crybaby!
I am so sorry to hear about your sweet dog. Sounds like you are doing what’s best for him!
Kuwaitia
July 16th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
OMG, krisite, I am so sorry to hear about sonny. thoughts and prayers with you, always.
Jennifer
July 17th, 2007 at 7:34 am
What a beautiful post.
I am so sorry you’re going through this. Take lots of pictures and video. My now 4 year olds favorite pic is of her trying to sit on our dog when she was about 15 months old, we had to put him down shortly after.
Your words made me relive loosing our beloved Cesar three years ago. He was an awesome dog, he was trained in pet therapy, he was amazing with kids and people. He had his quirks, but he was OURS. He developed Cushings disease, he drank water constantly, he was very sick. The Vets refused to operate because of his age, we were told the best thing would be to take him home and love him until it was “time”. He really started to go downhill fast, he lost most of his hearing and eyesite (making him startle easily, which made it hard with a 14 month old toddling around an 80 lb dog), he was falling down the stairs because the disease withers the muscles in the legs and when he layed down he would have accidents. So, that meant I had to keep him on the lino. He was such a social dog, he loved to be with us, but he couldn’t sit on the couch with us and we’d have to pile blankets on the floor for him to lay on because he would have watery diarrhea that he couldn’t control.
We finally had to put him down. We’ve talked about getting another dog in the three years since he died, but we just want Cesar back.
Sorry for the novel, your post sparked some pain for me.
Fidget
July 17th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
i’m sorry you are facing this. Pets can be a pain but they also can easily run away with our hearts
denise
July 17th, 2007 at 11:59 pm
Our family dog passed in Feb and it was very hard.
I would like to recommend the book I Will Always Love You. Its a cute book about how a boy tells his dog every night he loves her, until she gets old and dies. Very touching.
What Works For Us
July 18th, 2007 at 7:22 am
Man, my heart bleeds for you. We have a golden with severe allergies to so I can relate. Like Sonny, our dog is integral to our family too.
Please know we’re sending many golden thoughts your way.
Sparky Duck
July 18th, 2007 at 9:51 am
The hardest decision is when to treat a pet and when not too. Trust me, it still hurts now and its been 9 months.
sending hugs your families way and drop a line if ya need to whine