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There I said it. Does it make me a bad mom? I hope not.
I’ve never heard another mom say it out loud. Is that because other moms never have this feeling or because they keep it to themselves? Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. To. Death. I just have moments where I don’t like how my oldest behaves. She has a very attention seeking personality. That’s fine but I hate when she shows off or talks real loud to make sure everyone hears her. When there are other children that we don’t know standing next to us she’ll say things like, “I can’t wait to ride Kerri’s horses” or “That’s so cool that you are going to let me have a cell phone when I’m ten.” It will be completely unrelated to our conversation and spoken in a voice loud enough for the other child to hear while she’s glancing at the child to make sure they heard her. I consider it bragging and it makes me crazy. Bragging is a trait I despise in people and I’m shocked that I have a bragging child. I’ve talked to her about it but yet she still does it.
She really got on my nerves today. We had several of their friends over to play. Madeline was very hyper, bossy, and argumentative. I kept thinking my God how does this child have so many friends?
She’ll hit a sibling and then lie to my face about it. She’s also very argumentative with me. She can get so damn hyper when she’s among a group of people. There’s a social ineptness about her that I can’t seem to formulate into words.
I feel terrible when I have these feelings because I had hoped that I would be able to accept my children 100% for who they are. I also feel bad because I love this child so much that my heart hurts. On the flip side she is a very loving, thoughtful child. She has a very outgoing personality and she can be quite charming.
I often think about when she was a baby. My firstborn. My first time feeling the intense, overwhelming and vulnerable love for a child. I was so excited for her future and to watch her grow up. I promised her that I would give her all the love and support that I didn’t get as a child. I would daydream about her being smart and popular. I imagined her being able to sing, dance, and act. I hoped that she would be good at sports and love to read. I prayed that she would never know the dark depths of depression and have a zest for life. I prayed that I would be a good mother.
It seemed that easy. Hope. Pray. Imagine. I thought that if I gave her a great education, endless love and support that she would grow up to be the kind, loving human being that I imagined. I knew things would go wrong and there would be obstacles to face but I never imagine parenting would be THIS hard. No one told me that my children would embarrass me or bring me to my lowest of lows. No one told me that my children would tell me they hate me or make me feel rage I didn’t know I had. No one told me that there would be obstacles I would find hard to overcome. No one told me how loving them would hurt my heart and that I would worry myself sick.
Even as a baby Madeline was a very intense and spirited child. She threw tantrums that scared the Hell out of me and often left me wondering what I was doing wrong. We thought she was gifted because she spoke well at a young age and had advanced motor skills. She came across as much older than her age. She was quite the performer and still is. She dances competitively and has a great singing voice. It was quite a shock when I realized that she could not write her name or learn letter sounds like her friends of the same age. She was diagnosed with an auditory processing disorder. We had her tutored for many years and is now reading at her age level although her spelling is still difficult for her.
Around the age of six she had her first tic. She would sniff constantly as if she had a cold or allergies. We didn’t know it was a tic and we would yell at her to blow her nose. Poor baby. The tic disappeared as quietly as it appeared. That summer she began blinking her eyes. I contributed it to chlorine. She was on a swim team and swam very day. Once again the tic disappeared as quietly as appeared. By winter she had multiple tics and would sniff books and each bite of food before she put it in her mouth. I would watch her when she didn’t know I was looking. I was intrigued and horrified at the same time. My gut was telling me that it was Tourette’s Syndrome but my husband would brush it off. I felt so alone in my worries.
Every night before I went to bed I would stand over her bed and pray. I begged God to give me guidance and to help Madeline accept herself. I stood over her, looking at her beautiful face while the tears ran down my face. I felt sick at the thought of her being made fun of or not being accepted. I quietly promised her that I would teach her how to become a better person because of her struggles. I’m not exactly sure how to do it but I will figure it out. I rose above my wretched childhood so I know I’ve got it in me.
By summer her tics were at their worst. She would jump and kick her butt with her heels. I was horrified when I saw the circle bruises on her butt until I realized that they were from her constant jump/kick tic. She had several facial tics and had a spitting tic for a short time. That one bothered me the most because I worried that other adults would think she was a rude child devoid of manners. I’m also completely grossed out when people hack up a loogey and spit. I cringed every time she did it. She continued to sniff her food and for a long time she would touch her forehead, cheeks, chin, chest with each bite before eating it.
The amazing thing is how quickly we got used to her tics. So far she has not been teased and she openly talks about them. She has adopted our “it’s no big deal” attitude. Her tics really aren’t bothersome but the anxiety that crept up in her was exhausting. She was afraid of everything. Especially elevators and dark places. We went to Disney World and she was a ticcing anxious mess. She worried about our plane crashing and was fearful of any ride that looked dark and scary. It was a stressful trip and hubby and I fought most of it. I knew it was time to see a doctor.
We took her to a pediatric neurologist who diagnosed the Tourette’s. We opted to not medicate her since her tics weren’t affecting her daily life. I was concerned that she had PANDAS which stands for Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infection. The theory is that OCD, tics, and/or anxiety is triggered by strept infections. It seem to apply to Madeline because she had repeated strept throat infections. In fact she had six infections between January and May of that year. Her doctor quickly dismissed it as hogwash. I’m not sure if it’s coincidental or not but after we had her tonsils out that August her tics and behavior greatly improved.
She’s tic free at the moment but her ADHD is at it’s worst. I’ll take the tics over her ADHD symptoms any day. Her argumentativeness over the last few months has put a strain on our family. I worry that my other children will feel resentful of how much of my time is spent dealing with Madeline. We started her on Strattera a month ago and we have seen some improvement. I can always tell how she’s doing by her handwriting. It is very sloppy when she’s disconnected and inattentive. Two weeks into the medication her handwriting greatly improved along with her grades.
So back to me not liking her at times. I’m disappointed that I have these feelings especially after how much my heart has bled over all she’s been through and will go through. I love her more than life itself. I don’t ever feel dislike for her when her behavior is out of control. In fact I love her more during those times because I can see in her eyes that she’s suffering. She often verbalizes remorse for her out of control behavior. It’s the bragging, bratty, bossy behavior that gets under my skin. I will continue to talk to her about how to be a good friend and a likable person. Beyond that I have to trust that she may work it out herself and grow up to be the kind human being I want her to be. I also know that I will have to accept that she may grow up to be someone that has traits I dislike and to still love her unconditionally.
Damn! Why didn’t someone tell me parenting would be the hardest thing I would ever do. Where’s that book?
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This post made me cry… I love your honesty, and you’re not alone in feeling that way..
We have a niece who had a lot of these same behaviors. She was nearly unbearable to be around for years. She has changed with some age, but trust me, it’s NOT because she has loving parents who guide her in how to be, which is the exact opposite of you.. Madeline will be fine because she has a wonderful mother who loves her and cares how she turns out. In that I have no doubts at all..
I’ll say a prayer for you..
I love you.
Not just for the title of this post. But for the way it’s written. You love that child with all you are and I can feel it in that post. You make me see that loving your child but not liking certain things they do is normal and I thank you for that.
You also make her tics hers and I love that too. That’s what a parent does for their child. No matter what, they love them, tics and all.
My child is anxious and shy and so smart it hurts. I wish she was more outgoing and had more friends. I see kids in her class chatting it up and making friends and she is like an outcast. It kills me.
But she’s mine and I love her unconditionally. Like you love your kids.
It’s just what we do.
When you write that book, I want one.
The fact that you can put words to the good, the bad, and the “politically incorrect” just further illustrates to me that you are the kind of honest, real and loving woman many aspire to be, but few will ever achieve.
Are you a bad mom? HA! Hardly. Your children are blessed by your introspection and your unconditional and undying love.
You are certainly not alone. Someone asked me somewhat recently to be a nanny for them. I said in reply: “I don’t even like my own kids. What makes you think I’m gonna like yours enough to watch them all day everyday?” It might sound cruel - and I was laughing as I said it…but there was some truth to it.
Hang in there.
I feel ya on the ADHD symptoms. They way you describe your feelings for your daughter is exactly how I feel about Connor.
The other stuff - the braggy stuff, it sounds like age-appropriate stuff. And I think you’re handling it the right way. It it is attention seeking, you don’t want to completely make a big deal about it, but also make her aware. And maybe, if you do catch her being humble or being sensitive to someone or a friend, you can make a big deal about that instead.
This whole parenting thing is so damned hard sometimes. You’re doing a great job! And the best thing to do is vent like you are. It’ll help you in dealing with it all.
*singing*”Mama said there’d be days like this, there’d be days like this, my mama said. Mama said, mama said.”
Yes. I have six kids with six different personalities, six different appetites, six different learning styles, and six different ways that they respond to discipline. I blame my false illusions about motherhood on TV, where every issue is resolves in 30 minutes or less over a plate of warm cookies and milk.
Big hugs to you and your family, miss slacker.
Oh, you are such a good Mom! As much as I hate to admit it…I’ve said the same thing to my husband about my daughter. I love her but some days I really don’t like her much. Luckily she’s 17 and her behavior problems and mouthy times are at an all time low. Woot! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.
Just for the record..the first time she told me that she hated me was when she was at 4 years of age. Talk about breaking a Mama’s heart!
the bratty stuff sounds like she’s taken a secret class in what we call AOT (advanced obnoxious teen). We cling to the hope that this means our daughter will have grown out of it before her age hits double digits!!
Thank you all for your kind words. You never know how others will react when you put something like this out there. It’s comforting to know I have your support and understanding.
I understand. I always love my daughter, but sometimes I just don’t like her. She too has ADD and exhibits the same behaviors. It breaks my heart that I can be with her in a group of her peers and other mothers and cringe with embarrasment at her behavior. The hardest thing for me as a mother has been to not measure her against other kids or worldly standards. It has taken years of prayer to come to peace with that. For her medication is like turning on a light switch, suddenly she is able to perform well in school, family life is peaceful, all that we see within her is channeled and she excels. Perhaps another medication would help, or adjusting her dosage since she is still growing. I am sure you see you doctor frequently to monitor her, let her know how things are going. The books Driven to Distraction and Girls with ADD are great places to start.
Praying…
I think you are brave to be so real. I also think all moms feel this way to some extent. Truthfully, when I read people who write things about how their heart is bursting into a million tiny pieces of joy every single moment from the overflow of LOVE they feel for their children…
I just don’t believe them.
OK you know what? SO understand you!
I don’t like them either sometimes; but you know what, like and love are different things. As much as we might not “like” them some times, we still love them to pieces. No one likes people that yell, scream and drive them insane all day! LOL. Not without some heavy duty Zoloft or something.
So you are a good mom; you just admit that your kids drive you crazy. Welcome to the jungle baby!!
You are not alone in saying that sometimes you don’t like your child. That is so normal and I dare anyone with a child more than 5 years old to say they’ve never felt the same way.
It doesn’t mean you don’t love your child. Heck. I love my husband to death, but I don’t always like him. It’s the same with kids.
I’ve even told them, “You know I love you, but I sure don’t like you right now.”
It’s obvious you’re a wonderful mother, even more obvious in light of the issues your daughter faces.
Sometimes I don’t like my kids either
Luckily my mother warned me about this. She used to say that the only thing that kept her from running down the street madly was that she never disliked all of us at the same time!
I have a six year old son who I feel the same way about sometimes. He was just diagnosed with ADD and while it’s great that we know what the deal is, it still doesn’t help that he does some of the things he does to make us not like him some days.
That was a good post.
“You may not be a perfect mom, but you are the perfect mom for your child.” I got that from a speaker at the Hearts at Home Conference a couple of years ago. It has stuck with me over the years and helped me when I feel like a “bad mom”. I thought it might help you to hear it today. YOU are the perfect mom for your daughter.
I think all of us mothers feel this way. You are one of the brave ones who are honest enough to admit it, kudos!
I love my children too, there is not anything I would not do to protect them, keep them safe, keep them happy……..
That said, I have a 3 yo who has Aspergers, seems in his own little world most of the time, is fearful and hard to reason with about even the simple things. His 13 yo brother is a gifted and talented student, an excellent athlete who is a huge over achiever and socializer that drives me bonkers too.
The 2 brothers are 10 years apart and as different as night and day.
sigh…..
Aw. It sounds as though you are doing everything you can for her. I think there are some parts of a person’s personality that you can’t control/meld with nurture — it’s a nature thing. But she’s just 10, right? She could grow out of the bragging and other things.
Like I know what I’m talking about — my boy’s just 6 months! Ha ha….
There are times that I don’t like my kids either. There are moments that I just want to walk out the door and never look back.
Maybe thats what separates mombloggers from other parents, we have a tendancy to see our kids as they really are, rather than through those blinding rose colored glasses so many others seem to be wearing. I can tell you my kids great qualities, but I could list every pain in the ass quality they have too.
You are not alone. Last summer when my son was 5 he was in summer school for pre-k and was almost kicked out…can you imagine. 5 and already almost kicked out. I has suspected he had ADHD but hubby was adament about not medicating him. He thought little man would “grow”out of it. Luckily my Dr. told hubby that his own son was on Straterra and that it really helps and little man definitly needed it. By the time summer school was over he was a different kid and by the end of the firs semester the teachers were telling me he was a JOY to have in class and his behavior was no longer a problem. Straterra is a good medication. He lost a bit of weight at first so watch for that but trust me now it does not even matter, he eats non stop.
My grandmother used to say, “I love you always, but I don’t like you right now.”
How I hated her saying it. But as a mommy, auntie, sister, I totally get it. You’re not alone. The important thing is that the love for your daughter oozes from the words of your post, lending us an understanding of how special and loveable your daughter is, while allowing us to see her imperfections from your view and experience your frustrations as if she were our own.
Thank you for sharing. You’re not alone!
You just discribed by boyfriend’s son. He constantly has strept throat and the tics come and go. He takes Concerta for his ADHD, has anxiety problems, behaviour problems, yet is a lovable good hearted child.
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m going to look into PANDA.
I work with kids as a pediatric OT. If you need anything, let me know.
On a different note, your site is so incredibly cute and I can’t wait to come back to visit soon!
Stacey
Oh you! You are the best mom a child can hope for! I am not just saying that! Everything in this post oozes with love and true adoration that only a mother has. How you worry for nothing!!!
The time you have taken here to explain Madeline to the point where we all right now adore her for everything she is, brattiness and all, makes me want to reach through this computer and hug you till you beg me to let you go! You started this post with how you don’t like your child and now, we are all in love with this amazing girl.
What you don’t like are personality traits or styles your daughter is experimenting with at the appropriate age. You are perfectly right in not liking a trait or style 99% of most humans also don’t appreciate or enjoy. Expressing this and reacting to this on a gut level will only guide your child in the right direction. She will learn from your reactions that this behavior and attidude is not considered in a positive light. (If not from your unconditional mother, than certainly not from others)
You are being real with her and as a result, teaching her very valuable lessons.
And you worry about your parenting and love. Again, I want to hug you till you scream or just smack you out right for worrying in the first place.
I have been lurking for a while on your blog, but I felt compelled to comment on this post. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate other Mom’s being honest about their kids, their feelings and how hard it is to be parent. I am fairly new to this parenting gig (21 month old daughter) and some of the feelings I have at times are so similar; and she is only a baby.
Reading your post was very meaningful to me, a complete stranger. Your blog is wonderful!
We soooo went through this after the birth of my first child. It’s not that we didn’t love her…we just didn’t like her too much. Those first six months were HELL with an irascible, colickly kid who rarely slept.
We joke about that today and stilll get weird looks from people who surely think, “I can’t believe you’d actually say that!”
If you didn’t love her so much you wouldn’t be able to get so upset by her behaviors.
Thank god you’re not one of those parents who thinks their children do no wrong. Those are the parents I want to slap silly.
Such bravery to post this…but I knew there was a reason I loved ya!!
It is all about being human… and besides the ‘mom’part there is a relationship that you are building as well… as these beings we create are not stagnant they are every changing… and some traits we just do not like…
I sometimes bite my tongue as I do not like my mother.. sometimes she sounds like you daughter… but I can not imagine my life without her influence.. and I do love her… but sometimes… I do not like her very much…
It IS hard and don’t feel bad about that. The Tourette, ADHD, OCD and whatever other letters make it that much tougher. I get frustrated and want a “time out” of parenting…and sometimes have to find ways to make it happen.
One thing I really try to separate is that I don’t like my kids behavior…but I love them…no matter what. I tell them that regularly, which reinforces it in my head. They need to know unconditional love, but not excused behavior. I wish there was a manual but even the manual wouldn’t have it all! That’s what venting and sharing with other Moms is for!! Thank you for your honesty!
How timely that I read this now after a teary night of feeling sorry for myself and feeling beaten down by my oldest.
I feel so awful that somedays I even hate the sound of his voice.
That it can grate on my nerves…and the unrelenting motion and talking and obliviousness to anything we say or do to change the current behavior.
He is only four and he has basically made each day a battle for us all…..we feel so sad about it.
That was a great post! So honest and real.
Thanks for saying the things that we all sometimes feel.
Interesting connection between the tics and the tonsil removal…
Well..I’m running around the blogosphere tryin’ to catch up. This post is so dead on and heartfelt. There are most definitely times that I really dislike my daughter, but never a time that I don’t love her more than the air I breathe. I think only a strong and deeply honest mom can understand and acknowledge this. There’s no law in nature that says that your child must be perfect your eyes and always liked, that why some animals eat their young. LOL
Seriously though, with a 17 year old, I can go from the ooey gooey “God I just love this kid so much” to “OMG I can’t believe you are really my daughter! Were you switched at birth?!” in a matter of moments. Often with just one teenage rolling of the eyes.
You are so far from alone!
You don’t hear other mom’s say it because to some people saying that is the same as saying you don’t love them and it is not.
I told someone the other day that I don’t always like my son, and the reaction I got was not helpful or kind.
I know how you feel, hang in there!
You are definitely not alone. I’ve have a teenager and a kindergartener, and while I love them all the time, sometimes I don’t like either of them very much at all.
Thankfully it’s never for very long, just long enough to get past the behavior I abhor and back to the children I adore.
Nope, parenting isn’t easy. Our best revenge is when our kids have kids and we watch them go through all the ups and downs we are experiencing now.
My mom got the best revenge…she gave me the “Mother’s Curse.” “I hope you have a kid Just. Like. You.” she said.
Yeah, I got two of ‘em. Thanks a lot, mom!
WOW, It’s like you are describing my oldest, except for the Tourettes.
I have wondered also If mine has auditory processing disorder. She is very intelligent, but ofetn gets things mixed up when asked to follow directions. She has gotten better since starting kindergarten.
My oldest started throwing tantrums for no reason at the age of 13 months… terrible 2’s doesn’t even describe what we went through. i would literally have to hold her until she stopped having a tantrum. I would put her in her room in time out because I was worried i was going to lose it and beat the crap out of her… and she would stay up there and scream at the top of her lungs. i though for sure that the police would come knocking to see if I was beating her, from all the racket she made.
My second is just like her, only worse sometimes. She is louder and more stubborn than Anna.
You are not alone. I have had time when i don’t like my kids. It makes me sad and angry at myself… and it makes me want to try harder.
Yesterday, i realized that Anna was getting the brunt of our frustrations over Emma at times, I told the hubs that we need to make sure we stop doing that. yes… unfortunately Emma is picking a lot of her bad behaviour from Anna- but Anna isn’t responsible for the way emma acts. Em is her own person.
I can totally relate to almost all of what you said. Again, i say you’re not alone. It took guts to post what you did.
My best friend has been a great support to me. i once told her that when Anna was going through the worst of her 2’s that i just wanted to make her stop, no matter what it took… and those were the times I put her some where safe , away from me. BUT I always felt horrible for wanting to hurt my kid when i was so angry.
Her words to em? “There are people who think about it (under stress), and those horrible people that act on it because they don’t care. It’s normal for parents to have those thoughts, I’ve had those thoughts too. At least you are making the right choices, and not acting on it.”
I can’t tell you who much her words meant to me. I still think of her words today when Anna is out of control. It helps a lot.
Also, we love our kids… like you said. Even after everything, could you imaging your life without them?
I couldn’t either.
You know, I am not any sort of childhood development expert, but it seems to me that maybe her bragging behavior is some sort of defense system, since her Tourette’s probably makes her feel different from the other kids. Maybe she secretly worries that she WILL be teased, and so, she brags and bosses other kids around and basically makes herself the alpha girl in any situation in order to let everyone know that she likes herself the way she is and she will NOT put up with anyone else trying to put her down.
That actually sounds like a pretty good self-invented coping mechanism to me. I kind of think it’s what I would have done as a kid in that situation. (Though it would drive me nuts I had a kid who acted like that, too).
Anyway as the mother of a son with serious sensory issues who also happens to be rockin’ the everyday ordinary terrible twos right now, I can TOTALLY sympathize . . .
I think anyone that says they don’t have these feeling is seriously deluded. Perfect parents and perfect children don’t exist - thanks for not sugar coating everything. It’s refreshing to know that other moms feel the same way.
Excellent post! I have those days when I can’t stop wishing son was as easy as daughter. And I had to fake the tears when he started preschool but truth be told I was damn happy to get some time away. Of course now I’m sure he will be in a fatal accident because I’ve said this. I think this is why mom’s don’t say it. It’s superstition.
Trust me girl…
you’re not alone…
I’m glad to see that I’m not alone!
Big hugs to you …
So nice to see that I’m not alone. First time reading your blog, and I will definitely continue.
I have a 5 1/2 yr. old who was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD about two months ago. My family of course, thinks I’m crazy and I’ve made this up. I work from home and take care of him…yes, I’m sure you’re thinking he should be in school by now…well, he was for about two weeks…actually, he went for one week and was kicked out by the end of the second week…they could not deal with him…Sweetest kid you can imagine…shares his toys, says hi to every single person he comes in contact with…sings and dances most of the day…but the school kicked him out after a week. So, with nowhere to turn, I homeschool him at this point.
There are some days that I feel I am going to just “melt”…I love him more than anything else, but I have no family members around and don’t get a single break from him except when my husband keeps him so that I can go out ALONE…so, believe me, I know what you mean about not liking them sometimes…
At the end of the day, on this ADHD stuff…well, I’ve come to realize that I was the same as a child…
I STILL hear the comments from family friends of when I was little…I’m 39. It still hurts to this day. More than anything because they just thought “I was being a pain in the behind”…and nobody had a name for my behavior.
She will outgrow some of the things, but not all…I know I have NOT in many ways. All you can do is ensure that you always let her know how much you love her, which from reading your posts, I’m sure you already do…and that’s the best gift she can ever receive from you.
I think if everyone were honest with themselves, we all have moments when, although we love them fiercely, we don’t like our kid(s) very much.
BRAVO.
be proud of your candor; honesty endears you to people…
how about, instead of telling our kids that, while we love them, we sometimes don’t like them, we tell them that we don’t like the behavior? kids may not have the intellect to see the difference unless its pointed out to them.
something like this… “I was so proud of you today, Billy, when you scored a goal from a header off a corner kick. I loved the way you shook your coach’s hand, looked him in the eye, and thanked him when he congratulated you. But, when you walked past the other team’s bench? Gloating and high-fiving your friends with your nose in the air? I did not like that. Not at all. That did not make me proud.”
darnit, anyway. i wasn’t finished. i was fighting with html tags and clicked publish accidentally. so, there are lots of italics missing from my post. hmpf.
now i’ve lost focus, but i know i wanted to add that i’d be interested in some dialogue with you in regards to your daughter’s symptoms appearing following other health complications. only if you’re interested, of course.
thanks again for your courage.
be well…
I deal with my 10 year old every day but tonight she actualy sang at a school function, out loud I was so proud. Intervention and $200 a week on learning disabled tutors have helped. God Bless
Wow…I just felt so guilty typing “I don’t like my child” into the Google Bar. I swear it’s like I found the mecca. “I’m not alone in my feelings, and I’m a normal mom! Yippe!” I ADORE,LOVE, & CHERISH my 7 year old daughter, who is cautious, has an oral fixation, doesn’t like to push herself physically, wants to sit on the bench with me at the park, has no interest in hygiene or wiping, doesn’t like lotion, awkward & shy, can be mean and antagonizing to other kids, wants me to buy her everything she sees, ungreatful and rude at times, bossy, primadonna drama queen, has a weird sense of style and insists on dressing herself and doing her hair in “ponytails”, wears a deadpan serious facial expression when I introduce her, to people who always ask her “what’s wrong”, and I have to reply “nothing she’s fine, she actually happy.” Whom I sometimes
THANK YOU MY FELLOW MOMMIES RESTORING MY SANITY AND RENEWING MY FAITH IN MOTHERHOOD!
HANG IN THERE MY SISTAS!
I forgot to add…Whom I sometimes fantasize about running away from, but know I would miss terribly, after about two weeks. Ha!
So glad that I’m not alone. I didn’t really like typing in… “I hate my kid” but I’m so frustrated!!!! My 3 year old drives me crazy! And she’s only 3, I’ve seen bigger number up above and was kind of hoping it would get easier. My daughter has a mouth fetish, everything must go into it and recently she has been biting things and tearing things apart. She refuses to play by herself! She has to be constantly entertained and do whatever it is she wants. Oh and she doesn’t eat, only on rare occasion will she eat what’s put in front of her, she’s always been like that! I DONT GET IT! I just want to reach into her brain and pick it, see what makes her tick, because for the life of me I am going nuts! She screams, is a drama queen, pulls her hair when she’s mad, how much worse is this going to get???
Oh god, it doesn’t get better?
My son is 2 1/2, has a speech delay but advanced motor skills, didn’t sleep through the night until 20 1/2 months, and is aggressive towards us and others. Hitting, kicking, throwing toys, screaming loud enough to quiet an entire restaurant, and flailing around on the floor are common. So is forcibly banging his forehead on the floor–hard enough to leave bruises–when he’s angry.
It seems like every day is one unending fight. The doctor says he’s normal, my friends say he’s normal, and the First Steps people say he’s not delayed enough in speech for us to qualify for treatment. But I can’t help but feel like we must be doing something wrong, have to be doing something wrong. Otherwise why would my darling, happy baby boy have turned into a raging demon at 18 months and then never looked back?
I love my kid, but sometimes I feel like having kids, even with all our planning and dreaming, was a mistake. When people ask if we’re going to have another one I just laugh in horror.
sigh. I know that this is natural. I heard it from my own mom: “I love you, I don’t like you today, you need to be out of my sight”. 8. girl. very very much like jan 9 anonymous post : primadonna drama queen with the attention span of a 6 wk old puppy. but what about the rest of the world that thinks you are horrible for getting on your kid’s case about things. What about your S/O who thinks that you should like everything the kid does and is and that you should just let her be a lazy self absorbed disrespectful twit. or the grandparents who make the whole thing worse by spoiling her rotten and giving in to every whim or tantrum. that’s more frustrating than the kid herself. How do i not feel like a heel when everyone else seems to think that I am being one.
Thank you for being so honest. I have two adopted children - a 10-year old boy with Asperger’s, and a 4-year old girl with symptoms of ADD (not yet diagnosed). I gave 125% to my son over the last 9 years to help him recover with his many issues, and, now, I’m burnt. My daughter has been showing signs over the last two years of having some form of ADD and it’s made me resent her. I can’t seem to shake this feeling. The older she gets, the more symptoms become prominent. I’m trying to “fix” her by constantly disciplining her with time-outs, but she just doesn’t get it, and it’s frustrating me to no end. I’m in and out of depression because no one seems to understand how angry I am and that I have no energy left - physically and emotionally - to commit another 125% in a child who requires so much attention. I do want to say that I’ve recently fell upon a program called The Total Transformation Program created by renowed behavior therapist James Lehman. You can visit http://www.thetotaltransformation.com for more information. Be sure to read the “Frequestly Asked Questions” section. I think this is going to help me. Sounds like it might benefit you, too.